We hear a lot about the 'Dad bod', almost as if it's socially acceptable for males to let themselves go after becoming a father. A 'dad bod' is referred to a male body type that is described as 'softly round', and is built upon the idea that men don't need to worry about their weight or physique once they are called 'dad'. However, why is this stereotype only ok for men, and not women? When men are said to have a 'dad bod', it's laughed about and almost understandable, whereas, when women give BIRTH, there is some expectation that we need to get back into shape after we check out of the maternity ward. Why? I don't see any men pushing babies out of their vagina or having babies pulled out from their bellies. Now, I'm not trying to insult men here - good on them for embracing their changing bodies; I'm just merely stating the obvious stereotypes that exist in our society.
Somewhere along the way, we, as women, felt the pressure of society to look a particular way. Maybe it was due to the female celebrities posting their glamorous postpartum body days after giving birth, or the thousands of 'mum' exercise programs that 'can get you back to where you were' before falling pregnant, or maybe it's just those instagram public figures who seem to fit into their same pair of jeans as if they were never pregnant. For whatever reason, women/mums now feel pressured to get their body back into shape, otherwise feel ashamed for their 'mum bod'.
This is totally incorrect and unjustified. We need to embrace our 'mum bods', because without those stretch marks, without those curvy hips and without that now saggy skin, your babies would not be here. Don't get me wrong, health and fitness is an important aspect of wellbeing - and as a PDHPE teacher I encourage my students to look after their bodies - but it should not be something we have to feel anxious about. I honestly thought I would never let my postpartum body worry me, but the truth is, when I step out of the shower and look into the mirror, I see a completely different body, and that bothered me. Before I fell pregnant I was a pretty fit person and exercised very regularly. I would wake up at 4:40am every morning to go to the gym and exercise for an hour before going to work. Now I get up at 4:40am to feed Kaiden. How times have changed haha. I weighed 59kg, and put on 20kg during my pregnancy. I am now 64.5kg, so have lost a lot of weight, however, still have that 'belly' that seems to stick out like a sore thumb when I wear particular clothes. I find myself asking Shaun if I look fat in clothes, or if my belly sticks out, and definitely don't have the same confidence that I use to. It has taken me a while to accept that my body has been through A LOT, and therefore deserves to be a little 'podgy ' in places. I've accepted that it will take time for me to get my fitness back, and maybe drop back to my normal size, but in the mean time, I now have a beautiful baby boy to care for. It can be a bit of a shock when you see your body change so dramatically, and maybe it won't ever look the same, but your life isn't the same either. You now have a baby. Embrace that!
I've learnt a woman's body is a masterpiece and a blueprint for life. It is a home, a transportation device and a food dispenser. We grow our little human inside of us for 9 LONG months (the home); we then have the ability to bring this baby into the world, from point A to B (the transportation device), and then we provide food for the baby whenever they require it (the food dispenser). We literally give our children life, and somehow our bodies know how to do that, and to me, that's just a miracle in itself. We sit there and continuously tell our friends not to be so hard on themselves and that they look beautiful, so why don't we take our own advice? Our bodies are responsible for so many amazing things in life, so why should we be so hard on it after everything it has done for us? It deserves a bit of a break. When you move into a new house, or buy a new car, there may be things you want to do to it (renovations or such), but you don't often do that straight away, you just enjoy what you have for now. Well, enjoy this body you have now. It is a strong reminder of what you did, and where your baby came from. Yes, we have gained kilos, but we have also gained strength, empowerment and purpose. My body is no magazine type, but when I look in the mirror I see a mum, and there is no greater honour or blessing than that. Our bodies are our superpowers. (continued after picture)
Next time you look at your stretch marks, remember to look at your baby's eyes and think 'I did that'. When you play with your saggy skin, look at your baby's fingers and toes, and think 'I did that', and when you go to put on a dress that still doesn't fit you, look at your baby's smile, and think 'my body did all of that'. Cut yourself (and your body) some slack. You deserve that much.
Sending love always,
xx Jessica
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