When we announced I was pregnant, so many of our friends and family members told us to go on dates, go away, do things as a couple etc, because when that baby comes along, you won't be able to do your own thing until they are teenagers. As much as 'until they are teenagers' may be a bit of an exaggeration, there is a lot of truth in what they told us. This is all part of being a mum, or even just being a parent. For those mums-to-be expecting their first child, I would like to add to the above - enjoy going to the shops on your own, or the freedom you have to quickly get petrol, because the fact is, once that baby is born, it will literally take you two hours to buy bread and milk! Totally worth it though!
So has my life changed? Definitely. I think it's important to remember that when you have a baby, they enter your life, and therefore you are going to have to make some adaptations/sacrifices for this baby who you love so dearly. Below are some of the many ways my life has changed, which continually changes everyday. Being a mum is my greatest achievement in life, but life is different.
Getting ready and leaving the house- Think of how long it takes you to get ready in the morning, or before going out. Now add another 3 hours. Yes, 3 hours. You are not only thinking about yourself anymore. Take today for example, I needed to get some things from ALDI. I got up, fed Kaiden, burped Kaiden, and put him in his swing for a bit. I then boiled the kettle and put my toast in while half getting dressed - meanwhile, still checking on Kaiden in-between. I have definitely learnt to multi task a lot more since becoming a mum! While eating breakfast, I'm making sure I have everything I need just to go to the shops - nappies, baby wipes, dummy, toy, burping towel, change mat etc. I then start drinking my tea, while feeding the dogs. I've also got myself ready now besides done my hair or brushed my teeth. I then get Kaiden ready - and that's just a experience in itself. Out of PJs, change nappy, moisturise, new outfit on, and back to the swing. I brush my hair and clean my teeth, while getting his capsule ready for the car. Okay, we are almost done! I pack the car, put the pram in etc, and by now, it's time to feed Kaiden again, so he can have a full belly for the car trip, and will hopefully will remain full while I do the ALDI shop. I grab my wallet, phone, keys and then we are out of the house. Once the capsule is in the car, we are ready to go. ALDI here we come. Meanwhile, you aimed to get there at 9am, and it's now 11am. :) No stress though.
Shopping - It is no longer possible to 'quickly' go the shops (unless of course you don't have the baby with you). Just to get bread and milk -literally two items - could take you up to an hour. Think about it, you need to pack nappies etc, just in case (a poo explosion will occur when you least expect it!), you need to put the baby in the car, take them out, set up the pram, and you're not even in the shopping centre yet. Then if you actually want to go 'browse' around the shops, what is suppose to be free three hour parking, turns into two feeds, 2 changes, a lot of lifts and/or ramps, and $12.00 fee for the extra 2 hours you were there.
Shower time - When I am home alone with Kaiden I put him in his swing at the bathroom door. Once upon a time, my showers were long, relaxing and hot, now they are short, sometimes rushed, and with the company of a little human. Washing your hair and singing 'heads. shoulders, knees and toes' is definitely something I can tick off my bucket list.
Work - As some of you may know, I'm a teacher, PDHPE and RE trained. Right now I am on maternity leave, and not entirely sure when I will be going back as I'm loving spending all this time with Kaiden. Do I miss teaching? Definitely. Before I had Kaiden, my students were my priority. Every email, every assessment, every class was so important to me, and your students become a massive part of your job. But I have a different priority now, and that's ok with me.
And finally, a change that can be a little scary, is not feeling like yourself. After I gave birth to Kaiden, I had a pretty traumatic recovery (check out my birth story for all the details), and for a few weeks there, I definitely didn't feel like myself, both emotionally and physically. My body was recovering, while I was trying to be a new mum. I felt as if all my glamour had gone. I was vulnerable. My body had changed, and my mentality was changing. If I'm honest, there were days where I literally felt like I was just a milk machine, who smelt like vomit, and wore daggy clothes 24/7. There was definitely no 'new mum glow' about me. But it passed, and will pass for you too. Once you get into your own routine with bubs, you learn to prioritise your life to what suits you guys.
My perspectives on life have definitely changed, and what I use to find important are way down the list these days i.e. making sure the house is clean. Kaiden is my priority now, and I am sure he cares more about milk than what he does about some dirty dishes in the sink. In a nutshell, yes your life definitely changes. You now have a little dependent. But that little dependent will be the best thing that has ever happened to you, and if your life is going to change, it may as well change for your beautiful son or daughter. You don't take a class on motherhood; you're thrown into it, and that my friend, is the best learning experience you'll ever do.
Sending love always
xx Jessica
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