To the boy who made me a mum, I love you.
With only 5 weeks to go until there will be two, I’m missing our time together already. You, Kaiden, my precious firstborn, you made me a mum. You taught me how deep love is, a love so deep that only parents could understand. You taught me patience, how to grow, how to learn, and how to be a good mother. You have showed me so much about myself in these 15 months, and I thank you for that. I’m sorry that being my firstborn also meant mummy had to learn with you as she did not always know if she was doing the right thing!
As I continue to grow this next bundle of joy - your darling brother or sister - I can’t help but think about what this next chapter of our life is going to look like. What will you think when I can no longer give all my attention to you? What will go through your head when I can no longer play with you every minute of every day? I’m missing that time together already, my little buddy, and it hasn’t even started. But giving you a sibling will be the greatest present to you and another beautiful blessing to your Dad and I. You will have someone else to always play with , someone to comfort you and support you when mummy and daddy cannot be around.
I think about all our times together bonding, through the breastfeeding, the walks, the drives, the middle of the night wake ups, the cuddles and the milestones. I have loved being there through all of that, and will continue to do so. When this baby comes along, please do not think mummy has forgotten you, because she hasn’t. Please do not think our time is gone, because it hasn’t. Mummy just needs to give her attention to your newborn sibling as they need it more right now. They can’t feed themselves like you can. They can’t play with their toys like you can. They don’t yet understand the world as much as you do, and therefore need me to guide them that little bit more. But don’t forget, you made me a mum, my sweet boy, and I’m forever grateful for that.
When you’re feeling confused as to why your little world has changed, just remember how much I love and adore you. Being my firstborn means you will always be the one that made me a mum, but it also means that you’re the one that has to adapt not having me all to yourself now, which I know is hard. It’s hard for me too. Before falling pregnant again, I always wondered how my heart (which is already so full) could love someone else like the way I love you, but I love B2 so much already, and I know you will love them too.
During this time of transition, you will get to spend a lot more time with Daddy, which I am both excited and envious about. While I’m looking after B2, you and Daddy will get to play games and go on adventures, and have all this boy time that I know you will be both love. And although at times I will be wishing I could also spend that time with you, like I once did, I will also be so proud of the strong bond you have, and will be grateful for Daddy to have all this beautiful time with you, like I have. You may not need me like your new sibling will, but I promise I will need you. At times I do feel guilty as you do not yet understand that another baby is on their way. I will miss these times together, just you and me, but our family is growing, which means there will be even more love to go around. Just please don’t put B2 in the ball pit, or hide them under the lounge.
You will always be my firstborn and hold a precious place in my heart because you, kaiden, you made me a Mum.
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